I didn't know this about myself until pretty recently. In fact, as recently as college, I actively dismissed the idea of feminism. I honestly didn't get it. Like so many among us today, I assumed that feminism implied that I thought I was superior to men, or I shouldn't wear makeup, or something. And I love makeup. I like getting my hair did. I like dresses, and shaving my legs, and wearing bras. I figured this discredited me as a feminist. I realize now, that at its most basic, Feminism just recognizes that I matter.
Several weeks ago, I was talking to a guy I work with. He made some off-handed comment, and I said something in return about feminism in the work place. He actually stopped what he was doing, turned to me, and said, "Wait, but you're not a feminist, right?" As if the idea of an adult female who is a feminist is the weirdest thing anyone has heard of.
I wish this wasn't something that I had to address. And I'm not entirely certain I'm comfortable doing it on a blog that its most obvious premise is about dating a guy. But I date a great guy. I date a guy who makes me realize, every day, by what he says and does, that feminism is legit.
At this point in the blog, I was going to list and quote a bunch of male celebrities proclaiming that they are feminists. But isn't that part of the problem? As a woman, do I need to show you all a group of men who approve of my little cause? I shouldn't, and I won't. Except for one.
This may sound like hyperbole, but it is possible that Joss Whedon taught me how to be a feminist. I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer regularly and feverishly in my middle school through high school years. I still did not understand feminism at this point, but I feel that Mr. Whedon was slowly teaching me*. I watched this show. And this show featured remarkable ladies played my remarkable actresses. But I thought nothing of it. Because Mr. Whedon does not feel the need to beat anyone over the head with a uterus (how's that for a visual?!). Joss Whedon created characters who were characters. The women of his shows were simultaneously strong, sad, happy, manic, broken, anxious, confident and beautiful. They were all real.
I sit here tonight really perplexed and disturbed by what happened just a coast away. I want to say, as the angry person with a computer, "Um, you referred to women as 'blonde sluts'. It is no one else's fault that no one wants to have sex with you." But people died. People with fathers, mothers, friends, pets and neighbors. People with anonymous crushes. People who had not yet discovered the amazing gift they were going to give to the world.
I am not yet thirty years old and I can't believe I am again mourning the tragic deaths of strangers younger than me. It's horseshit.
*Let me state, for the record, that I had many incredible women teaching me my self-worth all along. I was raised and influenced by the coolest, most intelligent, strong, gracious, funny, sweet, bad-ass ladies a girl can hope to be around. I cannot express to you enough how little I knew about what it meant to be a woman and a feminist.
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